How do you picture your love life to be??
We as women are really artists when it comes to emotional stuff,we want what we want and most times want it even with people we know very well are not meant for us.
I met mr Rat ha ha (i’ll call him that coz mann he was too sneaky that one mjanja balaa ill give that to him.)some years back and well love happens and so does Lust.
At first it was honey moon champagne and bonny and clide typa love. We hooked up and within a year i turned to a bitter,possessive and out of control typa bitch i didn't recognize at all.
(Story for another day) Loooong story short, I decided to move on,
But for the first time in the history of woman i found that one amy and blake relationship, i was in too deep didn't even remember what i liked to do anymore.I had to find myself again
It's been a month of off and on contact with Rat.(I KNOWW)
But i have a list here that might help out anybody that needs to get out of a relationship that’s not getting you to the altar or Bank.
We need a name for this relationships ladies ha ha ha so here goes my To do list i really don’t believe in’ to not do lists’ because i break my own rules too many times like how i recently got drunk and went right back ha ha no regrets there ladies but okay straight talk what to do after a breakup.
1.Cry
Yes,cry like you just lost a parent or worse,i mean no matter what anybody says you were with him because you loved him truly and he was the centre of your world so please cry,the first two weeks were the hardest.i cried everywhere,at the office and everywhere i would just break down and cry,break something if you must just let all that negative vibe out and feel good about doing it.Of Course it helps if you are in the company of friends or alone you dont want people thinkng you are psycho or worse.
2.Listen to sad music and make your breakup playlist and listen to it.
My list has 'survivor' by destiny's child ,fighter Christina aguilera and ofcourse adeless rolling in the deep ha ha i googled breakup songs that work for me and chose like 25 songs that make me hate my ex ha ha or just boost my ego at that.strong enough by cher is on replay as i write this ha ha works all the tym.Ill write down my Top 10 ego boosters after breakup.
Before he cheats -Carrie Underwood
Jar of Hearts -Christina Perri
Strong enough -Cher
I will survive- Gloria Gaynor
What doesnt kill you -Kelly Clarkson
Ireplacable - Beyonce
Bust your windows -Jazmine Sullivan
I bet -Ciara
Potential Breakup song- Aly and aj
Rolling in the deep - Adele
3.Exercise or do something fun that will pump up that heart beat.Being in love is like racing you look at him your heart melts he kisses you the heart jumps you see his text the tummy churns acha tu ni baraa any who i took up running because it helps me think and plan my day.Also the music i listen to while running helps me feel in control again.You can dance or Zhumba or simply do something to make you feel alive again and the weight loss will boost up your self confidence (trust me it works all the time).Yoga and free youtube videos work alooooott Tiffany rothe works all the time that gyall is amazinggg.I recently started doing yoga and meditation its really easy on youtube just type meditation for beginners and yoga.On a day when i cant stop thinking about Mr Rat i just meditate happiness back into my life and some yoga never hurt a soul.Note that prayer is a the best form of meditation yet and without it i really think its going to be hard so pray and mshtakie Mungu mambo ya hawa waja ha ha.
4.Write him a letter.
This is crazy but it works. Sit down and write your ex a letter.Don't send it but write it down and explain all the things you liked and didn't like about that relationship.This helps how?? Hehe well sometimes you need to step aside and see things with a third eye maybe you just mad and being a dramaqueen here is the time to just be reall and pour your heart out on a piece of paper you will find that this helps unburden that tight knot on your chest and helps you analyse the situation again.
Also remember Love is two way traffic just because it didn't work out you don't have to act like he is the enemy make peace with yourself and be happy for the lessons love is not a competition na mkishindwana na mtu jua tu kuna Bonge la bwana God amekuandalia so love the fact that you are going to be better out of it usimchukie because then you give him the power and that normally fails because you end up stalking and classy ladies DONT do that guys.After you decide that it’s not meant to be kabisa kabisa.Then yo ready for step 5.
5.Block his ass up.
You dont want conversatiins with him,believe me my sister it’s a trap mweee yani block him on twitter,watsapp,sijui linkedin yani huataki hata job ya huyu kaka,messenger tena Delete his number,ndio you have crammed it ila utasahau tu we delete na pia delete za besti zake zoteee yani that tribe ife kabisa kabisa staying close na marafiki wa ex wako is a recipe for disaster they will tell you things about the guy whether you like it or not and that will cause you unnecessary emotions yani act like huwajui am not saying all the time am just saying for the first 3 4 months don't contact the guy or his friends. And noo texting him Jamani hii imeniponza na hii mioyo inajidaigi bingwa wa Kupenda watu wazima wenye wazazi wao wameshindwa kuwaPenda mweee yani Dont even think about texting au kumjibu text yake ha ha its a traaaapppp i tell you ha ha i take the fall for you i tried it ili nije kuwasimulia it doesnt workkkk.Also delete his pictures and burn his clothes if you have to,end it.
6.Fall in love with yourself again.
Out of all the steps for me this is the most important and veryyy tricky and hard.After loving someone else more than you loved yourself for over a year.Its easy to forget about who you were as a person before then,especially for me because i just had come out from the most traumatising time in my life i felt like i had to hold on to everything good however small in My ex.I literally hanged out with his crew i don,t have lots of friends as it is and most of my gals are now married and to say my life revolved around him is an understatement.
I woke up in the mornings and didn't know what to do with myself i am lucky that i just got into a new job i love and that keeps me busy but i still feel lost sometimes so here what you can do,
List down things you know you like and things you want to try out,Me i just started writing again,i put up this blog 3 years back and never could get me to post anything ha ha talk about turning your lemons into Mojitos,here i am i feel like this is What i need to bring out of my failed relationship..Just find a way to utilise your newly found freedom to make the best you so that your prince charming finds you as God intended and not a bitter old hug.Get a pedi or buy something small for yourself this works all the tym as you boost your ego and makes you feel desirable again.
7..Flirt again.
Yes i said it.Haha remember that hot hunk you used to ignore when you were with your ex he he text him up and am pretty sure he will ask you out well this time choose a fancy restaurant and Go and live life you are beautiful,Classy you kept it closed for one douchebag and he let you down chaaaa my sister flirt flirt flirt just keep his friends out of the list we gotta keep it classy girls a man’s character is reflected back with who he hangs out not only will this not yield much it will also make you less likely to truly move on,Think of it this way,There are billions of juicy Dicks out there waiting to be loyal to you and fulfill your every dream achana na hiyo mangaa jinga kabisa.So put on your freekum dress call up yo gals and go out and party like a rockstar i loveee this part of being single jamani yani hadi raha,Remember flirting and having sex are two different things no jumping into bed is necessary here just flirt and have fun you are still recovering from your heart getting broken just remember that and stay safe and focused on healing.
8.Evaluate your relationship.
Okay Fun part is over girls,This is very very crucial for developing yourself both as a woman and In life.
Realise that most times there is a pattern for the kind of Men we date.At Least there was a pattern in mine.Okay we really can’t help who we like and the heart wants what it wants i know but me i was just recklessly choosing my partners and setting the scale abit too low and i realised that i was also falling too fast and jumping into Bed too quick without really knowing if i wanted to pursue anything.The thing about Sex is that it’s sweet and most times if you have good sex with a man things start looking all sorts of ways they ain’t,I tell you i put up with a lot of bullshit in the name of sex i did like him yes a lot but i believe if i had waited a while his bs would have been too hard to ignore,Analyse what went wrong and be honest about it and work on ways to improve yourself in that sector read books ask your friends who have better relationship choices,anything we now live in a world where you can be anything you want over night and this i plan on stressing out here coz this hormones don’t play chaa ha ha.
When people tell you you can do better,Usually they mean to say if you try harder and control your bad eye you wouldn't be falling for this type of individuals in the first place,Haha well they don't give you a manual for finding the right partner for you and I believe its about time the world got abit compassionate about a broken heart,You see love is superficial,At the time I wanted soo much to be in the right relationship but looking back I wasn't even in the right state of mind when I entered that relationship,I mean he was funny,Kind,generous,too passionate for his own good(maaan that passion was everything) ha ha ha sexy talker it was a dream come true,But I wasn't ready, and neither was he,I fell too fast and I hit ground too quick I was doing all the wrong things I still am,My broken heart taught me a thing or two but most importantly to wait it out before having sex and stating out expectations zako.
9. Be Kind to yourself,
I realise here i might be enabling my Bad character by spoiling myself but Honey leave the backstabbing,Hating and small talking to your haters love yourself and take yourself out, the thing is we are really putting too much pressure and expectations on ourselves nobody gave me a manual on how to pick Men i am learning and this is Learning as long as you want a Family eventually you really cannot avoid pain eboo walimwengu bwana utashauriwa utasemwa sana oh i told you so ni kweli lakini Listen to your heart and get real with yourself mie msemo unaniponzaga but ndio Maisha ndio kujifunza don't be bitter be better and accept your flaws and embrace them not hide them.So you failed what next we learn and get ready for combat again its a jungle out there sio kwenye mapenzi tu ni kupambanaa.>
10.Lean and stay close to your family and friends. What i will write down as the last hint is somewhat the most important and it has helped alot especially when i was just beginning to make me happy again.
Lean on your Family and friends these people know us so well and when we are in need of support trust me they are the best i stayed in my room all the time and they knew what was happening but my sweet fam kept it really tight ddnt ask much just gave me the space i needed and were there for me through it all God bless them.
Anyways i really just want us to honestly discuss this and maybe we can all benefit as women.i will try to put out a post every other week and i wrote all you a poem and posted that on my fashion page it’s really boring just putting pics alone so i want to start putting out fancy messages and they won’t be always about Men or heartbreaks but i promise they will be as reall as fuck.
Single ladies remember,You are single until Marriage keep flirting until you are sure he is the one.especially if he's still flirting too, a little fun never hurt nobody
Chicky chicky in my pot,
